Understanding Autistic Masking

Understanding Autistic Masking

Over the past few months, Connec-to-Talk has analyzed many of the barriers people, especially marginalized groups, face when seeking an autism diagnosis. This month, we want to instead explore a common challenging experience for many autistic individuals – autistic masking. Autistic masking refers to a series of behaviors that are designed to help autistic children and adults better assimilate with neurotypical peers. Masking essentially involves suppressing behaviors or language that might be commonly associated with autism spectrum disorder.

At first glance, one may question how the strategy of autistic masking could be considered negative. Theoretically, attempting to ‘fit in’ could lead to more interpersonal connections and a greater sense of community. In practice, however, the effort autistic individuals are expending to ‘pass’ as more neurotypical requires tremendous energy and forethought. Forcing behaviors that do not come naturally while suppressing behaviors that have a soothing effect, i.e. stimming, undoubtedly increases stress levels for autistic people.

Each day, this adds up to tens or even hundreds of small exchanges where certain social conventions are expected. A lack of acceptance for one’s natural inclinations can lead autistic people to feel obligated to mask during each of these interactions. Needing to assess and evaluate such a high quantity of interactions on a daily basis can be nothing short of exhausting for autistic individuals. Below are some hypothetical examples of autistic masking and the internal struggle that can follow.

• Eye contact makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I know that it is expected of me during a conversation so I force myself to look in someone’s eyes for the duration of a conversation. I don’t know the proper amount of eye contact so I’m obsessing on how long it’s appropriate to maintain eye contact. I’m counting in my head now to calculate when it’s polite to look away rather than focusing on what this person is saying. I feel uncomfortable being perceived and my skin is itching. Does this person notice how tense I am? 
• I like to swing my arms back and forth when I get excited but I’m in a group of people that don’t do this. The last time I did this, I got called “weird” and it made me sad. I’m so happy right now but I can’t show it. My arms feel restless and I wish that I could move. I don’t feel so happy anymore.
• Fluorescent light bulbs really hurt my eyes. I don’t want the teacher to think I’m ignoring her but when I look straight ahead I’m catching too much light. I want to listen, I like this topic, but I listen so much better when my head is down. My teacher is scolding me now for ignoring her and trying to sleep. I’m deeply embarrassed in front of my classmates, and I don’t really want to learn now. 

How can you encourage your autistic children to remove the mask? This is often easier said than done, but you can start by working to create a safe space. Autistic people are statistically more likely to experience alienation and bullying than their neurotypical peers. The struggle with autistic masking is that it can often be subconsciously done. When certain behaviors are so expected and demanded, it can become a natural inclination to conform. The goal should be to provide a minimal judgment zone:

• Encourage stimming when it is safe and does not interfere with other necessary tasks
• Avoid language that singles out individuals (weird, strange)
• Provide an environment that is comfortable from a sensory standpoint – soft lighting, opportunities for movement and input (trampoline, swing, bounce ball)